Archive for May, 2010
We, as parents, are so blessed to be granted by God to become parents and so it is just right that we take this role the best way we can. We are not perfect and we can never be, but striving to be enough for our kid/s is something that’s NOT easy peasy. No matter how hard we try to make it as straight-forward as we can, it will always be complicated, though possible.
We, as parents, try to be called as our “kid’s bestfriends”. As of now, it’s easy because our daughter is only 4 years old and she knows that only Mum and Dad will be there for her at all times. But kids do grow really fast and as they do, they are being welcomed by the wider world where it’s not only Mum and Dad, but there are actually a lot more. So to maintain the relationship as bestriends, everyday we try to go down to his age and understand her world. The only thing we don’t do is sit with her and play with her toys, but when it’s pretend phone calling, we do exchange conversation and that’s a good way for us to know how she thinks and how she communicates.
We, as parents, try to balance play vs. rules. We make sure that our daughter grows to become comfortable with us and at the same time, she also knows how to follow us. I am not a strict mom, not even my hubby. But we always make sure that our daughter knows how to distinguish right fromwrong. So far, I would want to believe that we’re on the right path because we are not growing a spoiled brat. At her age, she knows her limits and she lives a low-profile life. She’s not into having so much, in fact she always say, “No Mum, I already have enough.” when it comes to children’s addiction – toys.
We, as parents, will try our best to be the best for our kid/s.
We, as parents, will make sure that we have one goal and one way of rearing our child/ren.
I missed last week’s topic which is pregnancy and I really can’t afford to totally miss it so forgive me if I’m tackling about it in this single post.
I got pregnant at the age of 19. I was in 2nd year college then and there were 3 months more before the end of the school year so I had to juggle studies and morning sickness at the same time. I experienced the usual – nausea, vomiting and all. I didn’t like the smell of perfumes and I so loved the smell of dried fish and garlic. But if you’re to ask if I got everything I wanted during the whole course of my pregnancy, well… NO! hahaha!!! Hubby didn’t give in to my whims. I didn’t experience the luxury of being preggy. Well, good thing I only wanted 2 things then – banana and donuts. It wasn’t very hard to get so I was able to somehow indulge myself on those, but definitely not always.
After my first trimester, everything went well and I was able to prepare for our wedding day. My tummy was at its 6th month when I walked down the aisle and marry the brave and loving man, the father of my child. We lived together in a small but very nice apartment and together, we waited for God’s greatest gift to us – our Alyssa – the reason why we are now called, parents.
My labor started at around 6pm and I gave birth via normal delivery at 7:26am the next day. Oh YES!!! Almost 13 hours!!! Hubby was in Manila for work, while I already stayed in the province 1 week before my due date. When I felt that I was already in labor, hubby rushed off and arrived in Laguna just before midnight. I didn’t undergo any ultrasound and so the gender of the baby was a mystery until I finally gave birth, but in our mind we believed we were having a baby boy and so we were totally surprised when my OB said, “It’s a G-I-R-L!!!”
The delivery didn’t last very long though, it didn’t even last an hour. Hubby was not allowed to get inside the delivery room so he just went to McDonalds to buy breakfast and when he came back, he’s already a father. We were set to go home at 5pm the same day of July 30, 2005 and because we only have boy’s name packed, hubby has to think of a girl’s name and just ask my approval when I woke up. And he came up with MAY ALYSSA KIRSTEIN. You may read HERE why we came up with such a name.
Then come 5pm, we were all ready to go home. I was already walking then, but the 1st week after giving birth was really painful – I can barely walk straight. I was expecting to have sleepless nights, but Alyssa has been so good ever since she went out though I always stay up just to watch over her sleeping like an angel.
During the whole process, my Nanay (grandmother) was my constant carer. Before we go to the hospital, she rubs my tummy everytime it hurts and after I gave birth, she sees to it that she goes up the stairs (no matter how difficult it was for her aching knees) just to check on me and Alyssa. She cooks for me and makes sure I eat the right kind of foods to help generate breastmilk. Oh, how I am missing her again…
I think I experienced having post-partum depression since those were the times when I felt like my husband cared less about me. I didn’t feel loved and appreciated then and I think that was the start of my crankiness during our first year of marriage. Good thing we were able to balance things out and now, after almost 5 years… We are already planning for a second baby. I don’t care if I go through the same hardship again because everything’s worth it after all. What I pray is that, hopefully on the second time, hubby can replace my Nanay’s care before and after my pregnancy.
What a shame! I can’t find any picture of the preggy ME, not even my classic labor pics. Good thing my OB’s surgeon husband was kind enough to take pics while I give birth, so here are the precious pics of my cheeky munchkin the day she came out and changed our lives.
This is my share on last week and this week’s Couple’s Corner hosted by Mommy Liz. Join us too – hit the badge!
The theme for the whole month of May at Mommy Moments is all about mothers and today, it’s about motherly advice. I am no expert in parenting, I guess no one is since each child is different and each child is special in their own ways. I can only speak for what my daughter has taught me so far on being a mom.
These I realized:
- Never under estimate your child. Even before Alyssa can fully understand me, I make sure that I communicate with her whatever I want her to know. I talk to her and explain things the way I know she’ll understand. I never experienced having trouble during her toddler years because as for my belief, she understood me when I introduced her to what is right and what is wrong. Simple things like; don’t put anything on your mouth because it might choke you; don’t touch this and that because it might hurt your fingers; eat vegetables because it’s healthy and so you won’t get sick often – things like those are simple instructions that she was able to follow even before she turns 1. She’s 4 now and I make sure that the older she gets, the more I talk to her because I always believe that she understands.
- Make it known who the boss is. Don’t always give in. Learn how to stand on your grounds. As a mom, I play with her and I make her feel like I’m the nicest friend in the world, but I also have limitations and I have rules that she needs to abide in. We never experienced waking up in the middle of the night because she can’t stop from crying. Since the day she was born, I set-up a schedule that at 6pm, I’ll change her to her sleeping gown so her body clock will know that it’s bed time. She sleeps all through the night and wakes up in real good mood, always. There she learns about discipline.
- Most importantly, seek God’s guidance on rearing your child. Let’s all pray that may God use our hands to mould our child in His liking.
So far, here are the 3 most important lessons I learned in my almost 5 years as a mom. The result of these is that she don’t throw tantrums. Yes, and anyone who knows her can attest to that. She may cry a little (and I mean a little and very quietly) when she wants something (never material), but when I explained why the answer is NO, she stops and move on. She knows when I say “it’s mahal anak” (“it’s expensive, sweety”).
I believe there are so much more I learned in the past 4 years because motherhood is an everyday learning process, but I can’t count them all and I know there are so much more to learn. I’m not even in an inch to it.
I am proud of what I have accomplished so far as a mom, but I can’t be anymore prouder until I hear that assurance from my daughter when she grows up.